What Ifs
What if you will never truly recover? What if the wound will never really heal? What if your midnight cries will never stop? You stumble upon those what ifs at least every once in a month. And you still question your sanity. At that moment when you let those what ifs sinked deeply in your mind, you are drowning. Suffocating. The fact that you can't even help yourself out, you keep silently crying. You are helpless in your midnights. Then you start to feel that pain again which always echoing: You are not loved. You are not worthy for somebody. You are not beautiful. You cannot cook or do make ups. You just... not enough for someone. You want to seek help but you just found yourself swallow it all alone. You don't want to make a mess. You don't want to break another things around you when they're all look fine already. You don't want to screw things up. Meanwhile, those voices keep visiting you at least every once in a month. But still, you choose to walk away... wit...